


Presents of Christmas Past

by Gii_FearfulQuartet



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gii_FearfulQuartet/pseuds/Gii_FearfulQuartet
Summary: Anxiety and Deceit know each other better than anyone. This holiday season, Anxiety wants to show Dee just how much he cares through a gift, but it’s hard to be excited about giving your friend a gift if he’s not that fond of holiday cheer...especially when you got the idea from the ones you’re supposed to hate.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	Presents of Christmas Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pontsalin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Pontsalin).



Anxiety huddled deep inside his large black hoodie, staring at the imposing black door before him, tracing the curling golden letters that spelled “Deceit” for the fifth time as he tried to work up the courage to knock. No matter what, whenever he was in front of his best friend’s door, he always took a moment to finally knock. Sometimes he was caught worrying by someone before he even got that far. 

‘Come on, V,’ He thought to himself angrily. ‘It’s Deceit, you‘ve known him as long as you can remember, it’s not like you’re trying to knock on Logic’s door or something, or telling Princey something he can use against you. Come on, get it together.’ He let out a heavy sigh and squared his shoulders, only to heave into a dropped forward position and back away again quicker than before.  
‘But the Duke hangs out under his bed...’ He worked his lower lip between his teeth. ‘A-and besides that, he said he didn’t even like this kind of stuff, and that could actually mean he hates it and he was just being polite, what if you’re going too soft, all mushy and you spent actual time and effort on some stupid—the others are rubbing off on you already aren’t they, you can’t just try and change everything Anxiety, you’re still one of these guys, you better start acting like it this was a bad idea I should just turn around and go before—‘

“I can practically hear you fretting over there, Anxiety,” Deceit’s languid and semi-bored voice broke the anxious side’s thoughts from behind the door, making him wince. “You might as well come in and tell me what you want before your worrying literally creates a canyon and I become stuck in here.” 

Anxiety took a deep breath and opened the door, peeking his head around to see Deceit lounging lazily on his bed, a conjured garden snake slithering between his fingers and a bored expression on his face. Anxiety took it in for a moment.

He always loved seeing the lying side in his room, he never wore his gloves, hat, or cape, and became much more casual, less inclined to hide who he was, something only his fellow sides in the shadows could really see. When Anxiety stepped completely into the room, Deceit let the snake disappear from his hand and turned with a lazy yet still knowing smirk directed at his hoodie-clad companion. Anxiety couldn’t help the way he smiled a little wider, even with his nerves still going crazy.

“Hi, Dee,” He managed in an only slightly shaking voice. The coy wave in reply had him readying himself to say his mind, hand gripping the small box in his jacket pocket. “So...you know that I’ve been trying to talk to Thomas more, as you asked me to?”

“That I did,” Dee turned until he was almost resting upside down on his bed, still looking intently at Anxiety. “And from what I’ve seen, it’s been going well, slowly but surely, as long as you stop… agreeing with them.”

Anxiety couldn’t help how he winced and looked down, careful not to crush what he was gripping. He had agreed with Princey and the others a few times, and of course, it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Deceit. 

“...Sorry...” Anxiety mumbled. He heard the bed shift, and a moment later two arms wrapped around him, his forehead being pressed against Deceit’s chest. He couldn’t help sighing as he felt fingers carding through his hair.

“I know you don’t mean it, Virgil. It just...” Dee held him tighter and Anxiety tried not to dwell on how his voice cracked, or how his own spine shivered when he heard his name, a secret only the two of them shared at the moment. Only they knew their names, no one else. “I’m....uh, I’m not scared of losing you okay? The others aren’t as wild as we are around here.”

The anxious side held back a chuckle, knowing it was serious if so much lying was seeping into Dee’s words. He used his free arm to hold him back, hand bunched in the back of his shirt, and he nodded, not trusting his voice much to keep his own...side effects away either. Deceit sighed, and before Anxiety could stop him, had put his hands in the pockets of the black hoodie, likely to hold his hand. 

It would have been a sweet gesture, if there wasn’t still a small wrapped box held tight in one hand that Dee now pulled out with a strange look on his face.

“...What’s this?” He asked, stepping back. Anxiety fought the urge to pull him back towards him, as well as the even stronger urge to growl and snatch the parcel back from his hands, to run back to his room and rip it to shreds so he wouldn’t have to answer. 

Instead he couldn’t seem to look away as the serpentine facet rolled the small box between his fingers and awaited an answer.

“I,” Anxiety licked his lips, throat dry. “W-well, I know that we don’t really celebrate many...uh...”

“...holidays?” Dee supplied. Anxiety nodded somewhat sheepishly.

“Right. Well, I know that’s ‘cause they’re ploys of society and all, a-and I’m not saying you’re wrong! You’re right, I mean, Dee you’re always right, but I just saw how the other three—but I’m not siding with them, I swear—uh, but they give gifts for Christmas, and I know that one’s the biggest scam of them all but the gift part got me thinking and I just—“

“..You got a present for me?” Deceit interrupted. He had an expression that couldn’t quite be explained, fingertips rested gingerly against the box.

Anxiety exhaled heavily and nodded, twisting his fingers together as the side before him eyed the box wrapped in shiny golden wrapping. He hadn’t asked Morality or Logic or Creativity for help, he didn’t want to make them think that he’d give them gifts too. He was Deceit’s friend. Not theirs. However, that did mean that the paper was a little wrinkled and ripped and messy, and suddenly Anxiety wanted to take it back again, fix it before he gave it to him for real this time.

Before he could, he saw Deceit carefully peeling back the layers until there was just the plain box beneath, golden outside now shredded in strips around it. The cover was lifted, and the scaled side’s face morphed from a carefully indifferent facade to a look of pure awe and misunderstanding.

“This is...” Deceit looked up at Anxiety, and he was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Anxiety, is this what I..?”

Anxiety shrugged. “I mean, it’s not much. You said you wanted to feel more like an important piece of Thomas, and I found a few of your design ideas, so I thought I’d help make sure you know that, a-at least to me, you, ya know...fit in.” He gave a small smile to his lying companion before him, and a part of him leapt when it was returned.

“Where—“ Deceit cleared his throat. “Where should I put it?”

Anxiety smiled. “I know that it’s nice if you put it near your heart? At least that’s what...uh, what Morality told me once...” He lowered his voice and avoided the other’s eyes when he brought up Morality, quickly taking out the embroidered piece and a pin he had put in the box, holding it over the left side of Deceit’s shirt. “Uh, m-may I?”

Deceit nodded, a smile still gracing his lips, and Anxiety carefully pinned the design to his clothing. He leaned close and focused, worried to poke either of them and make this situation an awkward moment. 

“...There.” He pulled his hands away and nodded in satisfaction. He looked up to gage what the other thought, only to see mismatched eyes gazing at him with a strange expression. It was almost....warm? Perhaps fond? Admiring? He couldn’t quite tell, but whatever it was it made his cheeks burn as he quirked an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Deceit murmured. “I just—Virge...You’re a, um, a really good friend. You didn’t have to do this.”  
There was his name again, and it only made him turn redder, thoughts spinning like they always did in his head. Embarrassed as hell, he scrunched his face up and roughly pushed his head against Deceit’s chest so he didn’t have to see the smirk he knew would be growing the minute the redness started to move towards his ears. He felt the lying side’s laughter rumble against him and held back a sigh as thin hands scratched at his scalp. 

He turned his head so he could see the little embroidery he had spent so much time on, the two little black and yellow serpent heads perfect twins of each other. He had thought so carefully about this design, worked until his fingers were red and shaking, and yet, despite expecting nothing more than perhaps a glance of satisfaction in return. Deceit wasn’t one for open affection, and if he showed it, then he was either too shocked to hide it, or he was putting on a show. Right now, as he rested against the only side he had felt close to, he shoved the anxious thoughts telling him it was the latter back down deep in his heart, clinging to the hope it was real, that Deceit cherished his gift.

As he turned to leave for his own dark part of the mindscape that night, those hopes had a moment to blossom once more.

“...wait.” Deceit reached for Anxiety’s hoodie, gripping the dark fabric in his hand and gently tugging until they faced one another again. “I, well, I may have something for you...Anxiety. A present, I mean, like the one you gave me.” Shifting his weight back and forth, Deceit grabbed a bag from beneath his bed. holding it in front of him. Anxiety looked at it and couldn’t help his small smile.

It wasn’t fancy, it wasn’t even wrapped, just shoved in a paper bag so he couldn’t see what it was, with “To Anx” scribbled in purple and black on the front. It was obviously small, jostling around, and when Anxiety grabbed it in the bag he almost threw it back once he felt the jagged edges. He pulled it out to reveal… a spider shaped tape dispenser. He looked up at Dee with surprise.

“I-I know it’s not as thought out as yours, which was definitely more personalized,” He stuttered. “But I know how much you love spiders, so I thought you would at least like it in your room or something.” He looked down at the floor, his usual calm and smooth demeanor replaced with insecurity and self doubt. It was something Anxiety knew all too well.

“It’s great, Dee,” he said gently. “I…uh, thank you.” He pulled his friend into one last tight hug, before pulling away and turning finally towards his own room.

Entering the dark chambers he called his room at last, Virgil breathed a sigh of relief and flopped onto his bed, holding the spider to his chest fondly and letting out a breath of laughter. He did it. He really did it. He gave Deceit the gift, and he had liked it! Not to mention he got one himself back, which is something not even the Duke himself can boast about. Resting his head against his pillow, the anxious side closes his eyes, relishing in another secret, another bond, another thing that was just theirs being forged between him and Deceit. Despite his title, Deceit would never break such trust, he was sure of it, and today just proved it once again for Virgil, it was all real.  
Right?  
—————  


Deceit pressed his hand over the left side of his chest, fingers rubbing against the embroidery, yellow snakes that hadn’t faded in the year and a half it had been. Perhaps longer now, as the failures seem to blur the time together in his head little by little. The deceptive side’s teeth slowly clenched tighter in his mouth as he sat on his bed, holding a box he had carefully wrapped, and written “for virgil” in gentle letters on the top. He knew he wouldn’t come, or if he did it wasn’t for him, but for his new friends, for the ones he knew he could trust now. Deceit had made a mistake so long ago that was far too great to be fixed with a simple Christmas present, even one as personal as this.

Deceit looked down, the box nearly folding in his tight grip, making him jump and quickly loosen. The paper was silver, all he could find since he rarely dealt with something so frivolous as wrapping a present, but what mattered was inside. Within the box, wrapped in a cloth of purple fabric mimicking Virgil’s own plaid patches, was a logo. It’s not the bright but not quite sunshine colored snakes that a young Anxiety has sewn many years ago, staying up late to put together and follow a design as close as he could. It’s not a storm cloud striking fearsome lightning, despite the puffed textured cloud and friendly deep lavender color scheme that contrasts the boy who wears it proudly against his chest instead of hidden in plain sight behind a cloak. It’s not mind, not heart, neither sword nor shield. It’s not light or dark.

Deceit stayed up for weeks. He poked his fingers red, but refused to ask anyone for help, because he had learned Virgil asked no one’s help for his own gift those many years ago. He pictured his face the last time they met, the scowl where his smile used to be, the way he hides the pain.

Now, he looks down and can picture the rounded, intricate star in the box, with a simple message embroidered on it.

“Shine, with or without me.”

Deceit smiled, somehow less melancholy than he expected. The message was no lie, after all. The boy he had known as only his to hold with secrets, now let the world see them, and he's shining without him. As painful as it was, Deceit was sure Virgil would never see the present in his hand, because why would he? He has friends to give and get presents with. He doesn’t need this one to hold him back. Deceit was just a hinderance. A relic. A moment of a past that he can’t blame him for wanting to forget.

And yet, he sat there, clinging to his hope that maybe he could fix it, that it was still early enough, that this rivalry could end in something better, and his only true friend would be there if he just waited a little longer. It wasn’t like he had much else to do. He held onto this hope like he used to hold Virgil’s hand.

There’s a knock on the door.

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST ID LIKE TO SAY THAT I AM SO SO SO SORRY SECRET SANTA TEAM FOR HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT I AM AND HOW LATE I AM WITH ALL OF THIS BUT DONT SAY IT WASNT HERE BY CHRISTMAS BECAUSE IT WAS!!  
> But MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY GIFTEE PONTSALIN!!!! I was not gonna let you end up without a gift, Pontsalin! I have followed you and love your blog so I knew I needed to make your secret santa gift really good, so I don’t know if time got away from me while I worked, or if my concussion brain went haywire or WHAT, but I’m here and queer and your gift is on time for you because you deserve to have a gift be at least mostly on time dangit! I hope this met your expectations and made you smile, or at least made you happy, it was such a blast coming up with ideas for you because you gave me so much to work with, and I honestly am gonna write again with those ideas in mind.  
> And once again, have a very Happy Holidays, and a very Merry Christmas!!!


End file.
